Shacking Up

Maybe this is where I should have started. Van and I are moving in together (gasp) and we aren’t married, yet.

I can’t say that my parents are exactly pleased. They understand all of the reasons. We truly enjoy being together. Well, most days. And, there are the financial benefits. I know that my parents appreciate the fact that Van is my family here.

No matter how much they understand, it doesn’t make it any easier for them. To my mom, living together is the same as being married and to me there is a huge difference. My mom doesn’t understand why we don’t have a civil ceremony to make it legit and then have a big wedding when we are ready.

I can’t think of anything worse. I want to get married once and have that ceremony be the wedding that I want with the flowers, music and all my family and friends.

I think that this clash is purely generational. I don’t see why living together is such a taboo topic for people my parent’s age. I don’t feel like I am committing this huge sin by being with the person I love. I know that I am not a bad person. Maybe being out on my own has changed made me more lax religiously. I can’t see God getting all bent out of shape with me moving in with Van a year or so before we are married when there are so many people killing each other every day.

It’s not like I’m moving in with some random guy I met at a bar. Van and I are clearly committed to each other and have every intention of getting married. We have been very open about our plans with both of our parents. Obviously, if he has put up with me for this long he’s got to be a good guy.

I am incredibly close to my parents and it’s not like I am trying to purposely make them unhappy. I am so incredibly lucky to have such a good relationship with my parents.

Thankfully, my parents have mastered the art of agreeing to disagree. Neither one of them is going to let this interfere with my or Van’s relationship with them. My mom even said that she knew both of us would be happier living together. She is looking forward to seeing the new place when my family comes to visit in March.

I know that this is a big step for Van and I. I know that it will at times be challenging and that it will also be great. I can’t wait for us to have the space to spend weekends cooking together. I think we really will be happier.